Week 2 Recap

There was a slight return to normalcy this week as far as our league is concerned; only three people got knocked out this week, instead of the 16 of last week. As a reward for excellent play, I'm giving you all a gift — a recap of Week 2 with some stats, facts, musings, and predictions! I'm sorry — I'm terrible at giving gifts. If I were one of the three wise men, I would have been the dude who brought myrrh.

1. Last week, I made some bold predictions about the Denver Broncos: 1) Brandon Marshall will top 1,400 yards and 14 touchdowns this season, despite being suspended for the first game; 2) Eddie Royal will have a better rookie season than Calvin Johnson did last season; and 3) Jay Cutler will have a better statistical season than Peyton Manning. Let’s check up on those predictions after Week 2.

Marshall: With 18 catches for 166 yards and a touchdown in Week 2, Marshall is beginning to justify his billing as the next Terrell Owens. But is he confirming that I’m not an idiot? Kinda. Technically, he’s on pace for 1,328 yards and 8 touchdowns. But if you extrapolate his Week 2 numbers over the course of the 15 games he’ll play in, he’s on pace for 2,490 yards and 16 touchdowns. Unrealistic, obviously, but I take ’em when I can get ’em.

Royal: After two weeks, he has 183 yards and 2 touchdowns. At this point last season, Johnson had 131 yards and 2 touchdowns, so this one is close so far. (It should also be noted that Johnson sat out Week 4 of last season with a back injury).

Cutler: Here’s a quick stat comparison. Cutler: 650 yards, 6 touchdowns, 1 interception, 70.3 completion percentage, 118.6 quarterback rating. Manning: 568 yards, 2 touchdowns, 2 interceptions, 61.5 completion percentage, 77.5 quarterback rating (15.5 points lower than Eli).

2. Matt Hasselbeck should make a guest apperance on CBS’s “Worst Week.” (I think. I'm not sure I totally understand what that show is about.) Worst. Luck. Ever. His top four receivers were already hurt, so backup quarterback Seneca Wallace was penciled in as a starter at wide receiver. But he pulled his groin in warm-ups. Logan Payne then started for Wallace and tore a ligament in his knee, ending his season.

I was just informed by Roundy, who apparently knows more about Seahawks receivers than Hasselbeck himself, that Seattle just traded a fifth-round draft pick to Denver for Keary Colbert, Denver’s stud fifth receiver (2008 stats: 0 catches, 0 yards, 0 touchdowns on a team that is in the top five in the league in passing attempts and yards, and leads the league in scoring). Update: the Seahawks signed Koren Robinson to a one-year contract.

The really sad thing is that, despite being 0-2 and having receivers with the athletic ability of Grimace, the Seahawks are still 10-point favorites over the Rams this week. Which brings me to my next point...

3. There are 10 teams in the NFL that are 0-2 (and another that's 0-1). So which winless team is the worst so far? No question, it's the St. Louis Rams. Here are a couple nuggets of information to back that up: they're giving up 481.4 yards per game (worst in the NFL) and 39.5 points per game (31st); their offense puts up a league-worst 183.5 yards and 8 points per game and is 3-for-26 on third down conversions, has given up 10 sacks, and has yet to run a play from inside their opponents' 20-yard line.

Not too far behind the Rams (well, pretty far) are the Chiefs and the surprisingly bad Bengals (Carson Palmer has 233 yards, no touchdowns and 3 interceptions). I'm leaving the Dolphins out of this one, because I think if the Dolphins and Bengals played each other right now, the Dolphins would win, 1-0.

4. On the flip side of that, who is the best 0-2 team? I think this is a close call between the Vikings and the Chargers. If not for injuries (and, okay, Ed Hochuli), it would clearly be the Chargers (but, then again, if not for injuries the Chargers could very easily be 2-0). I think the edge goes to the Bolts because they'll have a lot of injured players returning in the next few weeks, and I don't see Tarvaris Jackson learning how to play quarterback in the same amount of time.

5. Now it's time for the undefeated teams. Who is the worst 2-0 team? Could it be? No. It couldn't! My Denver Broncos? It's not a stretch to say that it is, based mainly on the fact that they have the 27th ranked defense in the league and one of the worst special teams units ever assembled. But at the same time they have the best offense in the league, and it's hard to say that a team that averages 463.5 yards and 40 points a game is the worst of this group. Because of the Broncos' powerhouse offense, I'm going to have to go with the Carolina Panthers (13th overall defense and 19th overall offense).

6. And the best 2-0 team? Cowboys? Giants? Patriots? Packers? Steelers? I'm going to say the Cowboys and offer no justification for that choice. Because honestly, it could be any one of those teams.

7. Shawne Merriman (what is with the E at the end of his name?) is still getting fined even though he's out for the season. Merriman was fined $7,500 for a cheap shot on Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme last week.

8. It appeared as though DeSean Jackson joined the Leon Lett Club in last night's game against the Cowboys when he started celebrating a 60-yard touchdown catch a little too early and dropped the ball at the 1-yard line. What wasn't immediately apparent, though, was that Jackson was already a card-carrying member of the club, having done something very similar in the 2005 U.S. Army All-American Bowl (video here). Jackson joins Lett, Chad Johnson, the 1972 U.S. men's basketball team, and Jason Alexander in the hall of fame of people who celebrated a bit too early.

9. A brief comparison of Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre so far this season.
Yards
Rodgers: 506
Favre: 375

TDs
Rodgers: 4
Favre: 3

INTs
Rodgers: 0
Favre: 1

Completion Percentage
Rodgers: 70
Favre: 68.8

QB Rating
Rodgers: 117.8
Favre: 104.1

Team Record
Rodgers: 2-0
Favre: 1-1

10. I love Romeo Crennel and everything, but dude -- grow a pair! (Or borrow Mike Shanahan's. Or Hillary Clinton's.) Last week against the Cowboys, down by 21, Crennel elected to kick a field goal on fourth-and-3 from the Dallas 17 with 10:13 left in the game. That put them down 18 -- still a three-possession game. That choice helped no one but the Cowboys.

And on Sunday, with 3:24 left in the game and down 10-3, he chose to kick a field goal again on fourth down in the red zone. That put the Browns down four, meaning they still needed a touchdown. They would have been no worse off had they gone for it and not got it. Needless to say, the Browns lost both games and are now 0-2, two games behind their arch-rival Steelers in the AFC North.

11. Four fun stats for the week: 1) J.T. O'Sullivan has been sacked on 23 percent of the Niners' pass plays; 2) the Colts have fewer rushing yards than 35 individual players, including four rookies, three guys over 30, and Ravens fullback Le'Ron McClain, who has played in only one game this season; 3) despite missing last week due to a suspension for being a moron, Brandon Marshall has three more catches than any other receiver in the NFL; and 4) Zach Miller led the Raiders in receptions last week...with 2.

Okay, I'm done. This post is starting to look like it was written by Gregg Easterbrook.